On the second Saturday this December, I started contemplating the events of a December Saturday morning years ago. So many things in my life have been influenced by the events of that morning.
I was 16, and my best friend Teresa Haddock spent Friday night with me. It was the first time her folks had let her spend the night at my house. The next morning, I had a follow-up doctor's appointment. I drove my parents' car, and Teresa went with me to the appointment The appointment was quick that morning; driving to the appointment took longer than the appointment did. When it was over, Teresa and I were going to enjoy spending the rest of the day together. My dad had suggested that I take my baby brother Bruce (15 months old) with me, but I am so glad that he didn't go.
On the way back to the house from my appointment, life turned suddenly serious. An on-coming driver turned in front of me. He said he didn't see my car because of a car in the turn lane next to me and the angle of the road. There was little time to react. The collision was unavoidable. His car made a huge V in the engine compartment of the car I was driving. With no airbags or seatbelts to restrain us, Teresa and I hit the windshield. Teresa's injuries were more severe because I had the steering wheel to absorb part of the impact. I remember looking over at Teresa crumpled on the floor beside me and noticing that the white fleecy collar of her coat was completely red. I had never seen so much blood. She was unconscious, and when she wouldn't respond to me I was terrified. Finally, she moaned. I have never been so relieved to hear someone groaning in pain.
The fire department arrived first, followed by the ambulance. I was able to walk to the ambulance, but Teresa had to be carried on a stretcher. We were only a short distance away from the hospital where my mother worked as an RN. At the emergency room, we went to the front of the line and were admitted right away.
I was scared. Not knowing whether my friend was going to live, experiencing pain throughout my entire body-the worst pain ever at that point in my life, wondering what my parents would say, imagining what her parents would say, and talking to the totally unsympathetic police officer investigating the accident put my mind in turmoil.
I felt enough guilt. I did not need the officer to try make me feel even more guilty with comments like "you're lucky to be alive, but your friend might die." Even though the other driver turned in front of me when I had the right of way, the officer acted as if the accident were my fault. Why? Because I was female and a teenager. He kept making snide comments about women drivers and teenage drivers. Despite the agony I was in, the investigating officer felt he needed to lecture me and make disparaging comments about my driving.
It seemed like forever before my parents came to the hospital. My mother had worked the 3rd shift the previous night. The hospital was short-staffed and would sometimes call to ask nurses to come in on their days off. Before going to bed, Mom instructed my younger brother Bryan (age 13) that if the hospital called, he was not to wake her up. He was to tell them that she was asleep and she would return the call when she awoke. So when the hospital called to tell to notify my family about the wreck, Bryan obediently told the caller that his mom was asleep and she would return the call when she woke up. The caller told him that I had been in a serious accident, and she insisted on talking to my parents. Bryan jumped into action and woke mom up. All the caller would say is, "Your daughter has been in a serious accident. You need to come to the hospital." My parents knew that the hospital personnel won't give news of death over the phone, so with no solid information they imagined the worst. Although it seemed like forever to me, they were probably at the hospital with me in less than an hour.
I did not get to see Teresa again that day. She had a horrid gash that required dozens of stitches, seems as if it were almost 100 stitches. Since she was comatose, she was admitted to the hospital. I think she was in a coma for 3 or 4 days, and she was at the hospital for a week or so. When some of our classmates came to visit her in the hospital, a couple of them wouldn't look at her because they were afraid she was going to die. I would like to think that I visited Teresa in the hospital, but I don't remember much about the week after the wreck and I can't say for certain that I did visit. When I thought of her, I had such feelings of remorse. Her first overnight visit to my house, and look what happened.
I was the "lucky" one. Hitting the steering wheel was hard on my ribs and spine, but it spared me from more serious cuts. I had approximately 30 stitches in my face, fewer than half the number that Teresa had. I was conscious, not in a coma. Walking was painful, but I could still walk. I was able to leave the hospital that evening with my personal nurse, Mom. My head was in a compression bandage that made me look like a mummy. My face was swollen and bruised, but only the portion between my eyes and chin were visible. The bandage covered all the rest. My appearance was so awful that Bruce my 15 month old brother was afraid of me.
The mummy head bandage restricted my ability to open my mouth and to chew. I got so tired of soup, applesauce, and other things that can travel through a straw. That was the only December in my life that I actually lost weight. I lost about 10 pounds that month. However, if you are ever planning to go on a crash diet, please reconsider. As a diet plan goes, it was brutal. In addition, even if you put macaroni and cheese into the blender, the chunks get stuck in the straw.
Many people were praying for Teresa and me. I remember receiving cards from folks who attended my church. Many cited Romans 8:28 in the notes they wrote at the bottom of the card. They were attempting to reassure me that God had a plan for me. However, I don't remember questioning why God allowed the wreck to happen. The wreck did not cause a crisis of faith for me. In fact, the wreck gave me reassurance that I had a purpose in life. If I survived something so horrible, God must have a plan for me. God answered those prayers for healing, and both of us were able to return to school after the Christmas break.
How did the wreck impact my life?
Well for starters, my high school basketball career was pretty much finished. Before the wreck, I had my highest scoring game ever. I had scored more points in that game than I had scored the whole previous season. Afterwards, I had lost conditioning. I didn't have the stamina to play the whole game and I couldn't make baskets. During the rest of my senior year, I did not score as many points total as I had the first 2 games.
Thinking about the wreck made me realize that God had a plan for my life. I decided to attend Bob Jones University because it was the only distinctively Christian school with the major I wanted. So many things in my life can be traced to that decision to attend BJU, a big impact. After stumbling in a required math class, I wound up changing my major. Although I changed my major, I stayed at BJU, and during my sophomore year, I met my wonderful husband. Scott was my chapel buddy. We joke that we met through the campus computer dating service. Marlowe-Marley. Our row in chapel was full of Mar: Marley, Marling, Martin, Marlowe, etc. Would I have attended BJU if I hadn't had the wreck? Maybe, but it wasn't my plan at the time.
Financially, I suppose the immediate impact was neutral. The other driver's insurance company offered to settle right away. However, everyone encouraged my parents to get a lawyer. My parents hired a lawyer that a friend recommended. When everything was settled, the settlement covered my medical bills and the value of my parents' car, exactly what would have covered had there been no lawyer. In my case, having a lawyer meant that it took a great deal longer to get anything and the amount received was reduced by the legal fees. In essence, less money and longer to get it.
Finally, the wreck impacted my health. The long interval between the wreck and the appearance of my problems means that I cannot say with certainty that the wreck caused this problem or that one. Nonetheless, problems have developed that are consistent with the type of impact that Teresa and I experienced.
I wish that my friend had never had to live with the pain she experienced after the wreck. I know her life was adversely impacted in many ways. My life was impacted, but I can still be grateful. I'd like to say I'm grateful for everything, including the occasional physically painful reminder, but I need some improvement in that area of gratitude. I am grateful that my brother Bruce was not in the car. In those pre-child restraint law days, he did have a car seat. However, the main purpose of this car seat was to allow him to see out. Its flimsy frame was not designed to withstand any impact, and the little belt could not withstand his ability to escape. In the most likely scenario, he would have been sitting on Teresa's lap, and the possibilities are too horrid to contemplate. I am grateful for the invention of air bags, child restraint systems, and the availability of seat belts in cars. If I'm driving, everyone in the car gets buckled; you can have the freedom of traveling unrestrained if you're willing to walk. I am grateful for the many good things in my life that are an indirect result of decisions I made following the accident. I find myself increasingly aware of God's providence, and I am grateful to Him for the things He has allowed in my life.
